Friday, January 31, 2014

Chicken and Dumplings and Compliments too.

Mmmm….Chicken and Dumplings….Mmmmm.  I love to cook.  Something my mother instilled in me at a very young age.  Maybe crazy for me to feel this way, but I am so thankful that I love to cook.  Every woman needs to cook, and every man should be able to.  If it’s going to be something that I do every day for the rest of my life and right now literally for the masses(my six kids) well than I am so glad that I love to do it and what’s better yet, I’m very good at it.  Now that’s not me being cocky, that’s me being able to be honest about my talents.  How many of us are?

Do you shake your head or role your eyes or deny a talent when someone compliments you on it?  I know that I do.  It drives Jason nuts when he tells me that I’m beautiful and I tell him that I am so grateful that love has blinded him.  Why do we do that as woman?  Why can’t we take compliments?  Not that Jason is much better at it.  He always puffs out a bunch of air making that Phew sound that means…you’re crazy, whenever I compliment him.  What is wrong with us as a human race that we can’t be grateful and accepting when offered a compliment?

I’ve been troubled lately with all of the divorce and unrest in marriage that is going on around me.  What is that crazy statistic that everyone quotes?  Something like 50% of all marriages end in divorce?  I have to wonder that if maybe we offered compliments to each other more and mentioned our short comings a little less and in return if we gratefully accepted those compliments when given to us if more marriages wouldn’t stay intact.  If Jason says “You’re so beautiful,” (or hot as he really says) and I thank him and really mean it and really feel the words that he is saying to me I think that it would do a couple of things…

1.      If I really felt what he said how could my self-esteem not grow?  And when I feel good about myself I’m more inclined to feel good about other things too, like my marriage.

2.     When complimented I tend to be more likely to compliment back which helps my husband’s self-esteem grow and my kind thoughts towards him also.  When searching for a compliment to give you can’t help but see the good in others.

3.     And when we express our love to each other, well it only stands to reason that our love will grow too.

So what are we really doing then when we blow off a compliment whether from our significant other or the people around us who love us?  Making the moment awkward, taking the graciousness that they are offering away, maybe shutting off the opportunity we have to be grateful.  And how likely are they going to be to continue offering us compliments if we make it unbearable every time that they give them?  I rather enjoy good thoughts coming my way but maybe if I can’t accept them when given, well they might be less likely to think them.

Having said that now I will try to be better.  Not quite sure how.  I just can’t seem to get over the awkwardness that follows as if I’m the one complimenting myself.  God’s blessed me with an abundance of gifts and plenty of little talents here and there.  Is it showing lack of gratitude when I cannot accept them for what they are and realize the potential that is me?  I don’t know for sure, but I think that perhaps maybe it is.


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