Friday, August 31, 2012

Miracle of Motherhood

Ever have one of those days that from the moment that you wake up everything seems to go smoothly. Even in the hurry of getting five kids up and ready for school you just feel peace about you. That is how my day is starting, so far anyways. I guess I have a lot to be grateful for and for some reason today I am aware of it. Why do we not take every moment of every second of our lives to be grateful? If for no other reason than to feel this peace, this joy all of the time.
Last week my daughter Jenny and I were able to fly to Missouri to see my son Luke graduate from Basic Training at Fort Leonard Wood. We watched as the boys, and some girls, stood at attention all in a row and chanted through their cadences. Every head straight and shaved, caped in Army green, and completely unindividual. As the drill sergeant released them to find their families I was instantly filled with panic. Where was my boy? As I turned frantically searching, from behind I heard the most beautiful sound of explanation as Luke swept his tiny sister up into his powerful arms. Do you know what kind of joy that is? Can you even imagine? My heart was beyond overflowing, and when his arms were around me and neither of us wanted to let go, probably me more than him, I couldn't help but wonder how Heavenly Father will feel when his arms are securely around me once more.
That day was the most wonderful day as we walked around base and met with other families who were there visiting their sons. Proud moments as a mom seem to just keep creeping up on me. I wonder how other women can not find joy and fullfillment in motherhood. Perhaps it is what the world is teaching them which we know only comes from Lucifer and his desire to destroy the family. But I wonder how these moments cannot only make you feel like you can soar. Think of the first time your baby smiles at you, hold to that as tight as you can and each and every other moment of simple glory, their first word, the first time they ride their bike without training wheels. Kissing a skinned knee and walking them to the first day of school. Shopping for their first bra or measuring for their first tuxedo or prom dress. The moment when they walk so tall and proud up those gym steps with their tastle hanging from their graduation cap. Or even the moment, when dressed in Army Blues they walk down that isle to stand on that tall stage in Military Stance to call out their name, rank, and home state as they graduate from basic training. How can you not soar with the blessings that God has given you? How can you not bask in the joy of motherhood, even in the darkest hours that will come, which assuredly they will?
I was able this week to travel to U of U hospital in Salt Lake City. Quite a feat I must say. I have never gotten so lost in my life, nearly taking out a van next to me on my way. I thought the adrenaline going through my system would make me puke. I kept saying, "Lord, this is a good thing that I am doing here. Will you please help me." Many twists and turns and wrong stops and bad directions from a thousand different people later a sweet women on her way from the cancer treatment wing of the hospital got in her car and drove me right to the front entrance of the hospital. I was going to see one of my laurels who had been severly hurt in a car wreck and is now in rehab trying to regain feeling and movement to her limbs. Samantha Guillory,(Sam) is the most remarkable girl that I have ever met. She is strong beyond her years and teaching us all a thing or two about never giving up.
Sam is the one on the left and the other two girls are twins also in my laurels class. One of which I stole this picture from on facebook. I have the most amazing girls in young womens. Can I just take a second to say that? They never cease to amaze me. Another one of God's sweet mercies on me. As I walked into Sam's room with her mother Jill, there was an overwhelming spirit of peace in there. I have never felt as close to the veil other than when giving birth to one of my children as I have in that hospital room. Sam was beautiful and sweet and oh so tired and all I could think of was, "Can she feel God like I do here?" She has so much work ahead, and I am sure some times of bitter depression too, but with the angels watching over her like I could feel that they are, Sam will amaze us all. I can only thank her for bringing me that close to heaven, if just for a few minutes.
My Dad asked me this week, now that my youngest Sam,(my Samuel not Samantha Guillory), is in full time school what am I going to do with myself? Well since I haven't hardly even had the time to spare one moment to write in this blog, I think I will spend the next 12 years that I have with them all in absolute, ridiculous, wonderful chaos. How can I ever express all the gratitude that I have for God blessing me with the miracle of motherhood?


  1. ahh, Angi, I miss you so much. Luke looks amazing and grownup and handsome. He is an awesome young man!

  2. I heard about poor Sam. I hope she is improving. You are an good leader to go up there and visit her. So awesome to see Luke in his uniform. Makes me happy.